Parenting
The Behavior Buck System
I have been using behavior bucks with my children for several years now and highly recommend it to all parents. Over time I have modified the system to work more efficiently with my family.
When I began using behavior bucks with my children they were used as a face value award system that my children could purchase items at the store with or save up for a trip to Chuck E Cheese. I loved how well this award system taught them the value of money. They learnt that they needed to earn things.
The problem with using behavior bucks as face value allowance is that unless you are rich it can be financially challenging. I found myself not awarding behavior bucks as much as i should have in fear of going broke...lol. I have since developed an award system for things such as extra tv time, extra game time, a pass to stay up later, and so on. For instance it would cost them 5 behavior bucks for an extra half hour of game time.
As displayed in the pictures bellow I have defined a list of ways for my children to earn behavior bucks as well as a list of rewards they may turn their behavior bucks in for. This system has been extremely effective for my family. My children have become aware of the consequences and awards attached to their behaviors.
There are also chore bucks and homework bucks, I just found it easier to use the behavior bucks for everything.
Behavior Bucks http://www.chartjungle.com/behavior/behaviorbucks.html
Chore Bucks http://www.chartjungle.com/chores/chorebucks.html
Homework Bucks http://www.chartjungle.com/schoolhome/homeworkbucks.html
Reward Bucks Record http://www.chartjungle.com/chores/rewardbucksrecord-4.html
Reward Bucks Value http://www.chartjungle.com/chores/rewardbucksrecord-value.html
When I began using behavior bucks with my children they were used as a face value award system that my children could purchase items at the store with or save up for a trip to Chuck E Cheese. I loved how well this award system taught them the value of money. They learnt that they needed to earn things.
The problem with using behavior bucks as face value allowance is that unless you are rich it can be financially challenging. I found myself not awarding behavior bucks as much as i should have in fear of going broke...lol. I have since developed an award system for things such as extra tv time, extra game time, a pass to stay up later, and so on. For instance it would cost them 5 behavior bucks for an extra half hour of game time.
As displayed in the pictures bellow I have defined a list of ways for my children to earn behavior bucks as well as a list of rewards they may turn their behavior bucks in for. This system has been extremely effective for my family. My children have become aware of the consequences and awards attached to their behaviors.
There are also chore bucks and homework bucks, I just found it easier to use the behavior bucks for everything.
Behavior Bucks http://www.chartjungle.com/behavior/behaviorbucks.html
Chore Bucks http://www.chartjungle.com/chores/chorebucks.html
Homework Bucks http://www.chartjungle.com/schoolhome/homeworkbucks.html
Reward Bucks Record http://www.chartjungle.com/chores/rewardbucksrecord-4.html
Reward Bucks Value http://www.chartjungle.com/chores/rewardbucksrecord-value.html
I chose these zippered pencil cases to store each child's earned behavior bucks in. Not only are they easily hung on the wall, but the plastic front enables us to keep track of their behavior bucks using a dry erase marker.
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Back to School Ideas
We have all had those mornings that seem impossible to get ourselves and our kids ready and out of the house on time. Those mornings where if it can go wrong it will go wrong. Those mornings where the kids clothing has seemed to vanish and we cannot put an acceptable outfit together for the life of us.
Wither your child picks his/her own outfits or they need assistance from you, these are great ways to select the weeks outfits ahead of time , saving a great deal of time and frustration in the mornings.
Wither your child picks his/her own outfits or they need assistance from you, these are great ways to select the weeks outfits ahead of time , saving a great deal of time and frustration in the mornings.
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Make Chores into a Game
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Make clutter-busting a family game. Write tasks on plastic balls. Each person chooses a ball, completes the task, then chooses another one. After 30 minutes, whoever has the most balls gets a prize -- like a no-chores day or control of the TV remote. -- Alicia Rockmore and Sarah Welch, authors of Pretty Neat: Get Organized and Let Go of Perfection |
Mom Sets the Tone
Though it has been a few years, I can still remember the conversation like it was yesterday. In one of our marathon phone sessions, I poured out all my frustration to my sister:
Chuck is such a jerk! I’m so tired of feeling like I can’t do anything right! And the girls are driving me absolutely crazy! No sooner do I get one mess cleaned up than they make another one. Annie still won’t sleep through the night and Maggie refuses to sit on the potty and they both just won’t. stop. whining. I feel so tired and crabby and angry! I just want to scream!
Although she was 3,000 miles away, her response stopped me dead in my tracks, and she may as well have slapped me across the face. Six years older, with kids that were now in high school, she had already made it through those exasperating preschool years. She quietly said, I know how hard it is, but you have to remember that a mom sets the tone for her household. The mood of your family will ultimately reflect your own. If you are crabby, they will be too.
My kids are a little older now, both potty trained and sleeping through the night. They pick up after themselves, at least some of the time, and I’m not quite as exhausted as I was when they were babies. While I still struggle with crabbiness far more than I would like to admit, over the years I have discovered a few surefire ways to improve my mood and my attitude when I am feeling on edge. They might just work for you too:
Source: http://www.thebettermom.com/2014/01/21/mom-sets-tone-5-ways-reset-mood-anger-strikes/
Chuck is such a jerk! I’m so tired of feeling like I can’t do anything right! And the girls are driving me absolutely crazy! No sooner do I get one mess cleaned up than they make another one. Annie still won’t sleep through the night and Maggie refuses to sit on the potty and they both just won’t. stop. whining. I feel so tired and crabby and angry! I just want to scream!
Although she was 3,000 miles away, her response stopped me dead in my tracks, and she may as well have slapped me across the face. Six years older, with kids that were now in high school, she had already made it through those exasperating preschool years. She quietly said, I know how hard it is, but you have to remember that a mom sets the tone for her household. The mood of your family will ultimately reflect your own. If you are crabby, they will be too.
My kids are a little older now, both potty trained and sleeping through the night. They pick up after themselves, at least some of the time, and I’m not quite as exhausted as I was when they were babies. While I still struggle with crabbiness far more than I would like to admit, over the years I have discovered a few surefire ways to improve my mood and my attitude when I am feeling on edge. They might just work for you too:
- Play a game. I can honestly tell you that there is nothing I feel like doing less when I am crabby than playing a game with my kids. Even so, I have discovered that there is nothing that will reset my mood or snap me out of a funk quicker than a rousing game of hide-and-seek. There is just something so silly about a full-grown adult trying to squeeze into a tight space! Other games that always seem to get us laughing includeSpot It and Go Fish. (Or check out our other favorite family games here.)
- Clean something. I don’t know about you but I get some of the best cleaning done when I am really ticked off! If you really feel like you might explode, why not channel all that anger into a power Speed Cleaning session, something that will actually make you feel a whole lot better when you are done rather than something that will make you feel a whole lot worse, like yelling at your kids or husband.
- Breathe. I love yoga, if for no other reason than it has taught me the importance of learning how to breathe. The next time you feel tense, try this exercise: Close your eyes and take a long deep breath in through your nose, then exhale very slowly through your mouth. Do this ten more times, or until you have calmed down. I’ve also discovered that this is a great exercise to teach your kids when they are upset!
- Take a time-out. If your kids or husband are truly driving you nuts and you feel like you might snap, do whatever necessary to remove yourself from the situation. Put your kids in their room for quiet time, take a hot bath or a long shower, or go for a walk around the block.
- Give yourself grace. None of us are perfect. Every mom gets angry sometimes, and we all make mistakes. Acknowledge your feelings in the moment, tell yourself, “I am angry right now, and that is okay,” then also give yourself permission to let it go and to move on.
Source: http://www.thebettermom.com/2014/01/21/mom-sets-tone-5-ways-reset-mood-anger-strikes/
Listen, Laugh, Be kind, Inspire
1. Listen With Intention- It is extremely important to listen to the words spoken to us by the people we love. Often times we hear bits and pieces of what they are saying to us but do not give them our full attention while they are speaking. I am guilty of this with my children. There are times where i am busy doing something and do not fully listen to what they are saying to me. I acknowledge them and respond periodically to what they are saying, but am not intently listening. What they are saying to me is important to them wither it be a silly joke or something that happened during their day. It is information that they want to share with me, and it is important for me to give them my attention to do so.
2. Laugh More- It is important to learn how to forget about all of the stress life can bring and take the time to laugh more. Take time to be silly.
3. Be Kind- Every once in a while I come across someone who is so kind and soft spoken that I am inspired to be a kinder person. If you have ever come across such a person you know what i mean. The positivity of kind people is contagious. It has a way of inspiring others to be more positive. Be the kind of person that inspires other to be better!
4. Inspire, Don’t Demand- It is better to inspire people to do things than demand it. When inspired people want to do things, when demanded to they are only doing things because they are being forced to.
2. Laugh More- It is important to learn how to forget about all of the stress life can bring and take the time to laugh more. Take time to be silly.
3. Be Kind- Every once in a while I come across someone who is so kind and soft spoken that I am inspired to be a kinder person. If you have ever come across such a person you know what i mean. The positivity of kind people is contagious. It has a way of inspiring others to be more positive. Be the kind of person that inspires other to be better!
4. Inspire, Don’t Demand- It is better to inspire people to do things than demand it. When inspired people want to do things, when demanded to they are only doing things because they are being forced to.
Time Out Stool
Source: http://christineyscrafts.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/time-out-stool-tutorial.html
Stop Tantrums
Ignore & Walk Away This may sound bizarre, but it is actually my number one strategy. This doesn't always work but very often it does. Why? Because children tantrum for attention and when they do not get it they learn that such behavior is not an acceptable or effective means of getting what they want. Walking away also gives little ones the minute or two they usually need to work through the overwhelming emotions they are having. If after a few minutes my child is still flipping out I move on to trying other tactics.
Distract and Avert One of the biggest reasons kids tantrum is because you are not giving them something they want, whether it be the candy bar they see in the check out line or your phone to play with (tell me my kids aren't the only ones who always want my phone). Distracting them from the desirable object is actually pretty easy, at least a lot of the time. Tell them you have something exciting to show them and point to something, suddenly and excitedly tell them a secret, start singing their favorite song.......... any number of things can grab their attention and make them forget all about whatever it was they were tantruming for.
Check Their Vitals Is your child hungry, thirsty, or tired? All of the above can make a kid cranky and more prone to tantrums. Heck, even I can get mighty tigress on an empty stomach. When your child is tantruming, especially if it is more than once close together, ask yourself if they could be hungry or thirsty. Offer them a snack. Is it past nap time? Maybe put them down a little early even.
Beat the Tantrum to the Punch Are there certain times your child is prone to having temper tantrums? Does your little one have a hard time sitting for dinner or sharing with their friends during play group? Do they battle you at bath time or flip out before bed? Consider these tantrum triggers and try to get ahead of them. Talk to your child before high trigger times and encourage them. Offer them some form of incentive and tell them you know they can be a big boy or girl. How about an extra story before bed if they get a bath with no fuss? My girls have a hard time sitting through dinner, but it is nothing a little dessert bribe before we sit down can't combat. If they start to tantrum or go squirrelly I simply remind them of the incentive. Hey, I never said I was above bribery ;)
Stay Calm, Cool, & Collected It is so easy for mom to get worked up during a child's tantrum and even throw a bit of a tantrum of her own. Raising your voice, yelling, and getting agitated will only feed the tantruming child's negative behavior. Try your hardest to remain calm and to portray relative patience. If you begin to lose your cool it is honestly better to just walk away for a few minutes. Give both you and your child the time needed to process and work through the emotions.
Don't Give In When we are out and about and I have an audience watching my child flail and scream it is easy to feel like giving into the the tantrum and giving the child whatever it is they want to get them to stop. DON'T! Do this and your child will soon think that the tantruming behavior is an acceptable way to get what they want. They need to know and learn that bad behavior does not reap positive outcomes.
Start a Tickle Fest This is just another form of diversion but my does it do wonders! Many a tantrum has been tamed by starting a tickle fest. I mean, who can stay angry or enraged while being tickled? Not my girls!
Act Silly This falls under the same thought process as tickling. Acting silly captures the child's attention while also (hopefully) turning their frown upside down. Make funny faces, jump up and down, make animal noises.... anything to get that tantruming tot under control, right?
Be the Calm You Seek I was not born the most patient person and am guilty of throwing adult sized tantrums from time to time. Since becoming a mom I continually try to teach myself to be more calm so that I am a good role model for my girls. If they see me getting frazzled easily that is how they will learn to react, too. When your patience begins to stretch thin remember to breath, count to ten, and take it all in stride. Likely, your kids will slowly learn that behavior and begin to do the same.
Attend to the Aggressor Often times a tantrum is really a child seeking attention. If a child feels like they are not getting the attention they crave they will go to whatever means they feel are necessary and prove effective. If your child begins acting out try giving them five minutes of positive one on one time once they are calm. It is amazing what five minutes of positive attention will do to a child's energies and emotions.
Source: http://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2014/01/stop-temper-tantrums-in-their-tracks.html#sthash.ZStCHOq0.dpuf
Distract and Avert One of the biggest reasons kids tantrum is because you are not giving them something they want, whether it be the candy bar they see in the check out line or your phone to play with (tell me my kids aren't the only ones who always want my phone). Distracting them from the desirable object is actually pretty easy, at least a lot of the time. Tell them you have something exciting to show them and point to something, suddenly and excitedly tell them a secret, start singing their favorite song.......... any number of things can grab their attention and make them forget all about whatever it was they were tantruming for.
Check Their Vitals Is your child hungry, thirsty, or tired? All of the above can make a kid cranky and more prone to tantrums. Heck, even I can get mighty tigress on an empty stomach. When your child is tantruming, especially if it is more than once close together, ask yourself if they could be hungry or thirsty. Offer them a snack. Is it past nap time? Maybe put them down a little early even.
Beat the Tantrum to the Punch Are there certain times your child is prone to having temper tantrums? Does your little one have a hard time sitting for dinner or sharing with their friends during play group? Do they battle you at bath time or flip out before bed? Consider these tantrum triggers and try to get ahead of them. Talk to your child before high trigger times and encourage them. Offer them some form of incentive and tell them you know they can be a big boy or girl. How about an extra story before bed if they get a bath with no fuss? My girls have a hard time sitting through dinner, but it is nothing a little dessert bribe before we sit down can't combat. If they start to tantrum or go squirrelly I simply remind them of the incentive. Hey, I never said I was above bribery ;)
Stay Calm, Cool, & Collected It is so easy for mom to get worked up during a child's tantrum and even throw a bit of a tantrum of her own. Raising your voice, yelling, and getting agitated will only feed the tantruming child's negative behavior. Try your hardest to remain calm and to portray relative patience. If you begin to lose your cool it is honestly better to just walk away for a few minutes. Give both you and your child the time needed to process and work through the emotions.
Don't Give In When we are out and about and I have an audience watching my child flail and scream it is easy to feel like giving into the the tantrum and giving the child whatever it is they want to get them to stop. DON'T! Do this and your child will soon think that the tantruming behavior is an acceptable way to get what they want. They need to know and learn that bad behavior does not reap positive outcomes.
Start a Tickle Fest This is just another form of diversion but my does it do wonders! Many a tantrum has been tamed by starting a tickle fest. I mean, who can stay angry or enraged while being tickled? Not my girls!
Act Silly This falls under the same thought process as tickling. Acting silly captures the child's attention while also (hopefully) turning their frown upside down. Make funny faces, jump up and down, make animal noises.... anything to get that tantruming tot under control, right?
Be the Calm You Seek I was not born the most patient person and am guilty of throwing adult sized tantrums from time to time. Since becoming a mom I continually try to teach myself to be more calm so that I am a good role model for my girls. If they see me getting frazzled easily that is how they will learn to react, too. When your patience begins to stretch thin remember to breath, count to ten, and take it all in stride. Likely, your kids will slowly learn that behavior and begin to do the same.
Attend to the Aggressor Often times a tantrum is really a child seeking attention. If a child feels like they are not getting the attention they crave they will go to whatever means they feel are necessary and prove effective. If your child begins acting out try giving them five minutes of positive one on one time once they are calm. It is amazing what five minutes of positive attention will do to a child's energies and emotions.
Source: http://www.growingajeweledrose.com/2014/01/stop-temper-tantrums-in-their-tracks.html#sthash.ZStCHOq0.dpuf
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Worksheets for children
Click on the picture or the link below to view some great printable worksheets for young children.
http://www.allkidsnetwork.com/worksheets/
Here are some articles that you may find helpful...
| Potty Training...When should I start? |
| 9 Fun Way's to Potty Train Your Child |
| Giving Consequences to Young Todders and Kids |
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http://innerchildfun.com/2012/10/10-amazing-toys-you-can-make-for-your-kids.html